How to spot the signs a loved one is being scammed

A woman from the UK uncovered that her 80-year-old mother had lost £140,000 to romance fraud after noticing significant changes in her behavior. Helen, whose mother met scammers on Facebook, learned that the criminals used artificial intelligence to alter their appearances in photos and video calls, creating convincing deepfake personas.

The deception began with a fabricated man awaiting a life-saving operation at a hospital in Shanghai. Helen’s mother hollowed out a book to conceal £10,000 in cash and mailed it to him. As demands escalated, she was told the man had been kidnapped and a ransom was required. In total, she transferred £140,000 to the fraudsters.

Helen realized something was amiss when her mother accidentally sent messages intended for the scammers to her. The victim had become increasingly secretive, spending excessive time on phone and video calls without disclosing who she was speaking to. Helen described feeling emotionally drained as she struggled to understand the situation without the proper tools or expertise.

Scam Secrets presenter Shari Vahl highlighted several red flags families should watch for, including sudden shifts in mood or behavior, evasiveness, frequent visits to banks or post offices, and unusual financial activities such as opening new accounts or purchasing gift cards. Communicating online in a manner that is out of character is also a key warning sign.

Experts advise relatives to approach the subject with curiosity rather than confrontation. Helen attempted to convince her mother by engaging the scammer on a video call, where she quickly identified the deepfake due to the fuzzy image and out-of-sync audio. However, her mother resisted, claiming Helen made her feel ashamed and asking to be left alone regarding her relationship.

Forensic linguist Dr. Lis Carter emphasized the delicate nature of these interventions, noting that family members risk destroying the victim’s perceived happiness when they challenge the relationship. When direct persuasion failed, Helen utilized her lasting power of attorney to contact her mother’s bank. Nationwide reported that the bank has since returned £45,000 to the account.

Jim Winters, head of economic crime at Nationwide, recommended that anyone suspecting fraud should contact their bank immediately to set up safeguards. He also advised resetting the victim’s digital footprint by changing phone numbers, email addresses, and social media accounts to cut off scammers’ access. Helen ultimately replaced her mother’s smartphone with a basic device limited to calls and texts, as the fraudsters continued to obtain her new contact details despite multiple changes.