Parenthood often involves a cascade of stressors: a toddler demanding apple juice, an older child requesting extra screen time, and a supervisor sending urgent messages. These compounding pressures can rapidly trigger a fight-or-flight response, leaving parents feeling on the verge of losing their composure.
Cassidy Freitas, a licensed marriage and family therapist and mother of three, addresses this common challenge in her new book, “Mom Needs A Moment,” released in June. She emphasizes the importance of finding refuge in “the margins”—the brief, often overlooked pauses interspersed throughout a busy day.
“When I feel dysregulated as a parent, so often what I’m desperate for is space. Just give me a moment,” Freitas said, noting that this is a sentiment she frequently hears from her clients, who are predominantly mothers struggling to cope.
According to Freitas, creating these mental and physical buffers is essential for calibrating emotions. This regulation enables parents to respond more effectively to their own needs and those of their families. The need for such strategies is particularly acute today; the U.S. Surgeon General’s 2024 advisory highlights that modern parents are dedicating more time to both childcare and employment than their counterparts did two decades ago, leading to higher levels of burnout.
In her book, Freitas outlines advice for de-escalating intense emotions across three difficult but familiar parenting scenarios, helping parents regain control before they reach a breaking point.
Is it really just about taking a break though? What about actual support systems and less guilt?
My partner doesn’t get why I need five minutes of silence. Sharing this with him now.
I needed this today. The margins concept is genius. Small pauses actually work!